Let’s Talk Bookish – My Real and Online Personas

Hola amigos!! Hope you’ve had a wonderful week! I am so ready for the weekend just so I can sleep lol. But first, we have today’s LTB discussion which I am very excited to talk about.

As always, Let’s Talk Bookish is a weekly meme, that is hosted by me and Dani @ Literary Lion, where we discuss certain topics, share our opinions, and spread the love by visiting each other’s posts.

Today’s topic is: Do You Use an Online Persona for Book Blogging? (suggested by Lydia @ Lydia Schoch)

Thank you so much to Lydia for suggesting this topic!! Let’s get started.

When I first started blogging back in December of 2018 (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? It’s been nearly 2 yearsss 😭) I decided to go with a pen name.

Being the impatient genius I was, I hastily chose J. R. Lynn as my pen name without putting enough thought or care into it. Honestly, everything about the start of my blog was hasty, awful, and a period of time that I would love to redo.

Related: see my book blogging firsts tag where I talked about this some more

Okay, that’s not totally true. I did put some thought into it and I wouldn’t redo everything. At the time, my favorite author was Jennifer Lynn Barnes. So I took the J and Lynn from her name, and then made the middle initial the first letter of my name and ended up with J. R. Lynn.

I know; very original and sophisticated. I cringe whenever I see that name. At the very least I could have chosen Sophie or something since I really like that name instead of That.

Anyway. I think the reason why I started out with a pen name was because I was trying to separate my blogger life from my real life. And I actually didn’t talk about my real life at all then.

Over the past year, I finally switched my name, and now go by Rukky. I like that so much better; it feels realer in a way. It’s a name that I actually know and relate to since it is my real nickname.

Ever since then, I’ve kind of talked about my real life especially in wrap-ups. However, I’ve not done so recently partly because I haven’t done a wrap-up in forever (seriously, I need to get around to doing that) and also because I think I’m going to go back to keeping my online and personal life separate.

Why?

I honestly don’t like telling people IRL about my blog because I want my IRL persona to not be associated with my online persona and vice versa. I am a hugely different person online than I am IRL. I talk a whole lot more here, I’m a lot more “outgoing”, I’m more than likely to strike up a conversation with someone I admire or am interested in getting to know, and I’m much more gushy/affectionate as well.

IRL though, I’m very quiet, very shy, very reserved, just getting through school, doing whatever I have to do, and being the exact opposite of Blogger Rukky.

It’s sometimes very funny to me just how different my two personalities are, and that’s kind of why I want to keep them separate. Of course, I will still lament about school and share some foodie stuff every now and then, but beyond that, I don’t think I’ll be talking about my life here anymore.

And this is besides the point, but sometimes I feel like I’m an imposter because of how different my personalities are. But it’s not like I’m faking it. I genuinely feel so much more comfortable online talking to you guys, and I feel a lot more passionate and outgoing here. But for whatever reason, I can’t bring that passion and outgoing-ness out into my real life, and trust me, I truly wish I could. Do you feel like this sometimes??


One of the example questions for this topic was: Do you think book blogs should focus on being book blogs and not veer into other territory?

My answer is no. I think that book blogs can still be book blogs even if the blogger talks about their studies, shares studying/work tips, dabbles in some lifestyle or fashion, or decides to share recipes or art.

Honestly, I want to dabble in sharing recipes or doing some foodie stuff on the blog; however, that doesn’t negate the fact that I am a book blogger at heart. It could even make my book blogging side better if I veer into other territories since I’d be experimenting with different post types and getting ideas for my bookish content as well. So no, book blogs don’t have to only be about books.


To wrap up: sharing your personal life on your blog is a PERSONAL choice that you should not feel compelled to do at all. For real, you should not be feeling like you have to tell your readers what’s going on, or how you’re feeling, or why you disappeared if it’s something that you don’t want to do. And if somebody has an issue with that, they need to go re-examine their life choices.

How much you choose to share is up to you. How much you choose not to share is up to you. If you want to use a pen name, that’s totally fine, and again, totally up to you.

You started a blog to share a passion that you have. You may end up feeling so comfortable that you spill your life worries here to get some support, and that’s okay. The community will always support you and offer advice if needed. And if you choose not to share, I promise that they’ll fight anyone who tries to make you.

At least, I know that I definitely will.

This Week’s Participants:

Clo @ Cuppa Clo | Evelyn @ Evelyn Reads | Rian @ Dogs and Books | Dani @ Literary Lion | Abby @ Beyond the Read | Aria @ Book Nook Bits | Sammie @ The Bookwyrm’s Den

That’s it for today! What do you guys think? Do you talk about your personal life on your blog? Why or why not? Am I the only one that feels like an imposter at times? How different are your personalities online and IRL? What’s the best thing you’ve eaten all week? Chat with me in the comments below!!

17 thoughts on “Let’s Talk Bookish – My Real and Online Personas

  1. AWESOME POST; truly! And I totally know how you feel. I do share some personal stuff like school and what I’m up to, but only my closest friends and my family know about my blog and sometimes that makes me sad but it has a very special reason: not many people in my grade read and would understand our passion and how this works, but instead would make fun of me writing a blog. And even though I am 0% ashamed of having a blog (and why would I be, I mean it’s awesome to share what you love and get to connect with new people), I don’t think I could take the hate of other people, do you know what I mean?!
    Again, awesome post and happy reading!

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  2. I think your opinion on this topic is very interesting. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping your online persona and IRL persona separate. In fact I think it can actually be a good idea for a lot of people. While I don’t consider what I do a persona I agree that online I’m much more open and friendly online than I am in real life. IRL I tend to be withdrawn and polite, not sharing many opinions with anyone. I tend to keep to myself. Online I’m bubbly, social, and unafraid to share my opinion about anything. That’s not a lie, it’s who I am, I just happen to be a different person behind the comfort of my screen.

    I don’t think anyone should feel pressured to share more than they want to on their blog, nor should they be told to share less and only focus on books as a book blog. You need to do what makes you comfortable! I only really share my personal life in my wrap-ups and that’s what works best for me.

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  3. It makes absolutely total sens – When I was in a relationship with a guy who was english, so I needed to always use my second language with him, I found that my personality was kinda “rigged” too! I couldn’t express myself as “harsh” and show my discontentment as I could in my native language with my mother.

    As you feel that distinct difference, it feels normal that you would want to separate them aswell. I’m more one that don’t really have that line, so I really tend to overshare things on my blog.. and I talk about my blog to my peers too! Friends, family, coworkers.. I don’t really care if they wanna read my blog or not, some pieces of writing I want some particular people to see them, but otherwise..

    Thank you so much for the reminder ❀️ Sometimes I get into slight paranoia of how i’m always oversharing.. but that’s right that it’s a personal choice.

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  4. I definitely agree with this, even if I get a little too personal over on my blog and share a lot about my personal life. But it needs to be YOUR personal choice and people should respect how much you’re willing to share or how private you’d like to be. I also agree that, while I am obviously the same person in real life as I am online, on my blog, I am much more open and more outgoing than normal; it just feels safer and the right space to do it, so I connected with that point a lot! Thank you so much for writing this post. ❀

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  5. I think I talk quite a bit about my life – like, what I did with my friends, how is uni etc. – in our monthly wrap ups, but I don’t get super-personal, if that makes sense? I’m not about to pour my heart out on a public place, haha. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Just not something that would work for me, personally.)

    I’m not sure how similar my online/offline personas are – I think it’s pretty obvious both on- and offline that I’m pretty shy, haha. That said, I relate to being more gushy and affectionate. This is also true for texting/messaging online to my friends – in a “real life” conversation, I become so much more reserved than online even if I’m talking to the very same person. I really enjoyed this discussion, Rukky! πŸ™‚

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  6. I don’t separate my blog life from my real life. There are things I don’t share, of course, but in terms of having a completely different personality I can’t really do that. So far on my blog I’m trying to present a more mature personality, but those parts are still me like you were saying. And I’m trying to find a way to incorporate more of myself with each post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s really cool to see how bloggers differ in their approaches. Yeah, for some people it’s just the same IRL or online. I like to think of my situation as me just being too afraid to be the online me IRL. Like maybe Online Me is my actual personality, but for whatever reason, I’m just afraid to have that personality IRL. Anyways, I hope you’re able to be your most authentic self IRL and in your posts ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I used fake names when I first started on bookstagram because if possible I don’t want my irl friends to know about that account. I’d like to separate my real life persona and internet persona, but then I felt uncomfortable when people on the internet called me with the fake name I chose. I only started to use my real name sometime around this year I think and I felt much more comfortable with it now 😊

    I don’t really share about my personal life on my blog and bookstagram. That’s mostly because there’s nothing interesting to share and talk about in the first place πŸ˜… My personality in real life and on the internet are definitely different! I’m not at all talkative irl and like you I’m a reserved person, just going about life quietly, silent in the background.

    Anyway I really love what you said in the conclusion part!! Very reassuring. And yup, it’s all up to us to talk about our personal life or not. If we feel comfortable with sharing it here then go ahead. If not, then it’s okay too to only focus on one thing for the blog. You do you, right? Also, the best thing I’ve eaten this week might just be my mom’s meat curry!!

    Great post, Rukky!! I really enjoyed reading this πŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yess, I felt kind of uncomfortable with JR as well, because it wasn’t my name and it made me feel like I was lying. It’s also the reason why I switched because I didn’t like it and it made me feel icky all the time. I’m so glad the switch has made you feel better ❀

      Haha, same. Life’s just boring tbh. IKR, if someone who knew me through the blog met me irl, they probably would be confused because I’m so drastically different πŸ˜‚

      Yes, you absolutely do you. No one can tell you otherwise. That sounds so good, and I’m so hungry right now. Ahh, now I need to find a meat curry recipe πŸ˜‹

      Thank you for reading ✨

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I agree that it’s totally a personal choice whether to share IRL things on your blog. I know some bloggers who do share a fair amount of personal life on their blog, and some that stick to books only. There isn’t anything wrong with either, as long as you’re comfortable with what you’re posting. I also understand how you said you are more ‘outgoing’ online than in real life. It feels so much easier to strike up a conversation here. Nice post! πŸ™‚

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  9. I do share a little bit of my personal life on here (and do typically complain about work from time to time. However I’ve never said specific details about what I do or where I work or live or anything of that nature. It’s just what I’ve comfortable sharing at the moment. Maybe that will change in the future, who knows!

    I do feel as if I’m slightly more outgoing online than I am in person. Because I’m a naturally shy and closed off person. Who definitely tends to stutter and trip up on her words a lot in person – which just adds to my nervousness and anxiety. I think it’s just easier for me to communicate through words written out than verbally shared. I wish it were different and I have gotten slightly better at coming out of my shelf irl because of my job.

    Best thing I’ve eaten all week has to be that buffalo chicken and mac and cheese frozen meal I had for lunch at work because I’m literally 5.

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  10. Ah I talked about this more in my post but I do share a fair bit of my own life on my blog, that’s my personal choice though and it’s only because I feel comfortable sharing what I’ve been up to. Sometimes I think if I was more comfortable around a camera I’d dip my toes into lifestyle youtube but alas…me talking to a camera? That’d be a total mess haha.

    My personalities have a lot of overlap, the main difference is I’m Clo with friends, it’s informal. It’s also just me, I’m Clo and Chloe is who I am in more formal based settings so it’s like my brain responds different to Chloe being used. If people were to call me Chloe online my brain automatically goes “crap what have I done now?” cause my parents always call me Chloe so it’s the name they used when telling me off for things xD

    Mhmm I feel the impostor syndrome. I think it’s important to remember that it’s very rare for one person to see every side to a person. We’re complex beings, with so many sides and each person, situation calls for a slight variation on how we portray ourselves to the world. There’s so many other ways to connect with people than just sharing your personal life, you could share a hobby like cooking and make that a thing on the blog. The possibilities are endless and as humans, we’re generally nosy and curious people and I for sure love hearing about other people’s lives. That being said, I don’t expect it from anyone at all. I’m here for the blog, the content and the person.

    My comment is all over the place I’m so sorry Rukky, anyway I loved your take on the topic and it was a lot of fun taking part! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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